


Dead Hearts, Blind Minds

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: AU - Dystopian, Anxiety, Body Trauma, Gore, Multi, Parasites
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 18:38:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4532925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In 2002, when Maria Biological Centre was burned down, one chemical resistant, genetically modified parasite escaped. 13 years later, these parasites had grown in numbers and infected many civilians, some who are even unaware. These people are known as 'Neurotics.'</p><p>Jean Kirsctein, in this early twenties, joins the Survey Scouts in order to eradicate the existence of Neurotics and avenge the death of his parents. Ignorance is often blissful, and the horrors that come with the job are not as easily anticipated as he would have hoped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead Hearts, Blind Minds

**Author's Note:**

> You will find reference to many things in this work. Point them out if you can find them! (Or, let people suffer trying to find them all - whichever you chose)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn; become evident to the mind; be perceived or understood.

Piercing screams echoed throughout the tiled hallway, and angry fists banging on doors gave threat that the hinges would shake loose. Her heels clicked as we walked, a clipboard in one hand and the other sitting precariously in the left hand pocket of her lab coat. We turned right at the next corridor, and three janitors stood in a tight circle by a staff room door.

"Get back to work," She hissed, throwing them a dangerous glare. They muttered between themselves, but went back to mopping the floors and scrubbing dark stains on the walls as we pass by them.

The screams don't stop - they get louder. I could hear their pained and angered cries just as I could my heart thundering against my chest. The corridors spun, and I could barely walk in a straight line. The men in black suits took me by my arms, and she turned around to me as we stopped in front of a high security door. "You've been psyching yourself up for this moment for a long time coming, Mr Kirschtein. Please, don't let irrationality get in the way of seeing what is really here."

I shook against the forceful arms holding me upright. "W-What!?" I spluttered, chest rising and falling in time with the seconds ticking on a far away clock. It's so loud I can hear it ticking...

"Be prepared for a reality check. In this line of work, you can't become attached to what you're supposedly eradicating, or curing - and this, is exactly why..." She didn't face me as she entered a code and pushed the heavy duty, iron door open. Shadows and flashes of lights appeared before my eyes, and the gloomy atmosphere of the room engulfed the four of us in one breath. I was pushed and dragged until I entered the room, and before I could muster the words to tell her that I didn't want to be there, the door clicked shut behind us.

And I saw it.

 _Him_.

 

* * *

 

My phone alarm rings out right beside my ear, and I sit up in sheer terror at it's closeness. The message on the alarm reads, 'GET UP WORK!!' and I turn it off in a hurry. I'm drenched in sweat, and I've left a sweaty imprint on the bed sheets as I stand up to open the blinds. They stick to each other, as usual, and I let out a loud yawn as they tangle themselves up rising to the ceiling.

I lean against the windowsill, looking out at the dirty alleyway below, flecked with sunlight. From my window, I can see people cross at the zebra crossing beside the alleyway, and a group of young teenagers pushing and shoving each other by the fruit shop. I take a deep breath, and chuckle breathily to myself, shaking my head. _It was just another dream... Nothing to worry about._

My flat mate, Reiner, swears to himself below my bedroom, somewhere in the living room. The floors and walls of this apartment are thin, so we always know what's going on with one another, and 'not hearing' isn't an excuse. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hear half the things Reiner does with or without company, he's quite a loud guy in any case. He calls out, "Jean, you up?" from the bottom of the stairs, and I make my way to my bedroom door to answer him.

"Yeah, I'm up!" I call back, ears ringing from the sudden use of my own voice. My throats dry - I'd been snoring again. Reiner's thundering footsteps coming up the stairs make my mind spin, vividly remembering the dream. It's the same dream, always the same dream. _Why can't I just get over it? It's not real, anyway. I'm only making a horrible situation worse by thinking about things that'll never even happen._

He knocks on my door, then enters, without waiting for a reply. "Do you want breakfast?" He asks, generously. He must be seeing Bertholdt today, otherwise he'd've never offered.

I nod. "Yeah, thanks."

He leaves with his own courteous nod, and I gather an armful of clothes and head down the corridor to the bathroom, clicking the door shut behind me. Even the slightest noise resembling those in my dreams makes my stomach tighten. _Why am I so scared? I've wanted this all my life - haven't I? I know what to expect, I shouldn't be overreacting. I've researched everything, and I've studied what I have to for over three years, so why can't I just enjoy myself?_

They tell you that your first day of work will be full of nerves and mistakes, but I'm not sure that includes self-induces vomiting, 'just in case it'll relieve the pain.' It doesn't relieve anything, it leaves only a sick taste in your mouth and bile behind your teeth. After flushing the toilet, I make quick work of getting dressed. I shave, drench myself in cologne, wash my mouth out with mouth wash after brushing, and brush my undercut slightly to the left. There, almost passable. I look almost like a functional human being.

The clock on the wall ticks irritatingly loud in the quiet kitchen, save for the hum of the refrigerator and the sound of knives and forks scraping against our plates. And Reiner's obnoxiously loud chewing. Reiner made bacon and eggs, but I wish he'd done it on a day where I didn't feel like spewing my guts up onto the floor.

"Nervous?" He asks through a mouth full of eggs, scrolling through his Facebook.

I shrug, poking at an egg. "Yeah, a little." I put down my cutlery and take a small sip of orange juice, wincing at the bitter taste it leaves when mixing with the toothpaste. "Thanks for breakfast, I probably won't eat much more."

"That's fine. There's always some other millennium, right?" He chuckles.

"Sure."

We don't bother with further conversation, each too busy worrying over one thing or another. Reiner is worse than I am, when it comes to stress, especially as he works for the police. It's easy to tell when he's swamped with work, because he shuts off the rest of the world - and that is a scary thing. Whilst I am fairly introverted anyway, I do the same thing when I'm stressed or anxious, and I don't eat or leave my bedroom. Or I tell the world to fuck itself with a _spiny bladed dildo_ , it really just depends on the situation. I anger, or I detach, there's no happy-medium.  
Reiner is outgoing and obnoxious, so when he's nervous about something, it's like he's living on some isolated planet, where the only other life form is him; a brain dead vegetable. He's not like that today, but his 'everything's fine' facade is wearing thin.

Half an hour after breakfast, Reiner and I both leave the house, and drive off in our respectable cars. Whilst his wealthy family left him enough to afford to pay off a house and the newest Jag model, I'm left with my fathers old thing. I don't even recall the model, it's so old. But it works, for now, and that's all that matters.

I slam my hands on the steering wheel in frustration at every traffic light I miss, and a few people in cars beside me look away when I meet their gaze. _Go on, call the fucking cops, you've got nothing on me. I'm not one of them._

I turn up the radio, and tune into a popular news station. At this time of day, they host a show about crime and psyche decay prevention. The old radio takes a few hits to the receiver, before the news hosts' voice comes out in snowy breaths. " _They're mostly human, but that's only their outward appearance. They fool you into believing that they're one of us- reel you in by any means necessary, and that's when they have you. You either become a heartless, unfeeling monster like them, or another link on their food chain. There is no in-between. They are not human, they are monsters..."_

Ever since the fall of Maria Biological Centre, the link between human and inhuman has been breached. The only difference is their behaviour, and their digestive systems. They feed off of human organs, specifically the liver and kidneys, but that doesn't stop them from taking the whole body. Their existence has caused multiple civil wars, suicides, mass homicides, and the endangerment of humankind as a species. That's what this world has come to; we all live in fear of the Neurotics, and we are all at their mercy.

I'm going to stop them before it's too late for the revival of humanity, though. As of today, I'm a member of the Survey Scouts- the underground investigators that take on those monsters head-to-head, and are studying them in high security bases. I wanted to be one of them for a long time. Now, I am.

If I can get through this traffic on time.

"C'mon, you motherfucker! It's green for fuck sake!" I shout, honking my horn and slamming my foot on the gas to overtake the asshole who clearly can't fucking drive. "Jesus fuck, did you just get your pen license too!?"

Traffic induced rage does nothing, but I still manage to get to SS headquarters three and a half minutes early. I circle the parking lot four times, pay for a ticket, and sprint into that building as quickly as I can.

The white-tiled floors are freshly polished, so I've never been more glad that I wore rubber-soled shoes today. There's minimal decor, save for a few faux pot plants and some black and white paintings.

This building houses three criminal law and justice agencies. The first, the Military Police Corps; a military based agency which focuses on weaponry, defence, and protecting the security of the country. In short, they're a bunch of interfering assholes, and they're most of the reason Trost is as crime-ridden and poverty stricken as it is. The second, the Stationary Guard; they're in charge of protecting anyone who is a 'someone.' If you've got a title, you've got a guard - that's just the way it is. They're also in charge of social security and make up most of the general public police force. In short, they keep the peace when the MPC's fuck up. Then, there's the Survey Scouts; the only job worth taking, in my opinion. They're the 'big guys.' The SS covers private detectives, protection, forensic investigation, paranormal suspicion, and public wellbeing. They protect the people. And I'm pretty sure that my eleven year old self would be pleased to know that I might be able to get my hands on some documents regarding alien and UFO activity.

If you'd asked me three or four years ago what I wanted to do, I would've said Military Police. I wanted to supply weapons and defend the king but- they're a big part of the reason my parents are dead. If anything, my being here will ensure that they have a hell of a hard time doing their jobs. If I can help it, there'll be no such thing as Military Police Corps by the end of my first tri-semester.

I approach the front counter titled 'enquiries,' slightly out of breath. "How can I help you, sir?" The auburn haired woman asks, lowering her earpiece.

"Hi, yes thanks. Um, I'm looking for the Survey Scouts branch? I'm just starting," I smile, enthusiastically. I'm shaking in my shoes from excitement. This is it. My big break has finally arrived. It's time to give back to humanity!

The woman, who's name tag reads 'Petra,' laughs. "The SS? You've actually joined? Please, follow the prompts to your left. Have a nice time, kid!"

H-huh? "T-Thanks, ma'am."

I shake it off and thank her, making a bound towards the left. I follow the signs and take the elevator to the third floor, where I'm met with a pair of men in black suits. They lead me through a maze of corridors and rooms, before sitting me in a waiting room among five other people, and handing me a name tag. They all look to be my age.

I awkwardly take a seat in the corner, attempting to smile at the tanned boy who looks up at me from his phone. He rolls his eyes and goes back to playing his game. His name tag reads ' _Eren_.' He's got shaggy, brown hair, bright green eyes, and the nicest face I've ever seen. If it wasn't for the sarcastic eye roll that contorted his face, that is. He's wearing grey sweatpants and a dark green jacket with a pair of wings on the breast pocket.

 _Am I overdressed_? _Jeans, a cardigan, and a button up isn't overdressed, is it?_

Beside Eren sits another tanned guy, with a face full of freckles and the cheesiest, Hollywood grin you've ever seen. He sends it my way, too, and I return it with a half-hearted smile of my own. His name is _Marco_ , according to his tag. Something about this Marco seems too friendly to want to be here to kill monsters and arrest criminals. I almost want to hug him- his body language is inviting. I should probably be wary of that. It's always those types who suck you in and spit you out.

A tall, thin, dark-skinned freckled woman stands at the coffee machine, digging through her purse with fervour for change. Her name tag is half-way falling off, and it's been scribbled on. She's _Ymir_. Her legs go on for miles, and her dark ponytail stops short at the base of her neck.

An athletic looking Japanese woman sits across from Eren, reading a magazine. Now she is gorgeous. She has long, straight black hair, light eyes, and a red scarf that compliments her skin tone. I can't quite see her name tag from where I am sitting, but I know it starts with an 'M.' Next to her, is a girl with a her hair in a tight brown ponytail, with her legs slung across the seat next to her, leaning against the Japanese woman. She's definitely pretty, even as she munches sloppily on a bag of chips.

No one makes conversation, besides Ymir cursing under her breath when the coffee machine rejects her coins every try. Marco offers her some of his coins, and she accepts with an attempted kind smile. It's unnerving, really.

Time passes slowly, and my phone battery decreases by the second. Once it reaches 24% however, the door opens to reveal the two men in black suits. Everyone stands up, and follows the men out the door. I quickly follow behind, too, walking alone at the back of the group. Finally, we're going to meet the people who great things.

The elevator just manages to fit us all in, and takes us to a floor three floors below ground level. I've always wondered what's in the basement of these buildings, I guess today really is my lucky day.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I quickly reach into it to flick it onto silent, after catching a guards judgemental stare. "Ouch," Ymir hisses, pulling her hand away from my side. "Watch it, puto."

"O-oh, s-sorry!" I stutter, weakly, trying to make myself as small as possible. So, she's Latina? I know she insulted me, I'll have to keep that in my mind to google translate at some point. I catch Eren smirking to himself as the elevator doors open for us.

We pile out and into a large white room. Everything is white, there's not a speck of dust anywhere. It smells as sterile as a hospital. Automatic double doors open across the room, and three people in lab coats enter the room. The first, is a tall brunette woman with foggy glasses, her hair pulled into a mattered ponytail. She's holding a clipboard, and her boots leave slightly muddy footprints behind, taking away from the overall cleanliness of the room. The second, is a shorter man with a black undercut and an eyebrow piercing. He wears a snarl, and an immaculately white lab coat. His arms are crossed as he looks us all up and down with a judgemental stare. I can't get on his bad side.

The third, is a tall man with his blonde hair slicked to the side, parted neatly to his left. His bright blue eyes practically sparkle, and if I thought that my comrades were attractive, they have nothing on him. He steps forward to greet us first. "Good afternoon, newbies. I'm your commanding officer, Erwin Smith, but I'll respond to any anything so long as it's appropriate. I'd like to start us off with a one worded response as to how you're feeling in this very moment?" He asks kindly, as the brunette woman pulls out her clipboard and a pen enthusiastically.

Eren starts. "Bored." The Japanese 'M' and Ymir say, "Tired," in unison. The brunette guy with freckles shrugs, "Um, happy?" He questions.

_God, help him. He's not gonna last long in here._

"Excited," I say proudly, my hands tugging at the insides of my jean pockets. Then Sasha, who licks her fingers clean of Doritos dust asks, "Are we getting graded on these responses?" To which everyone groans, and Ymir even pushes Sasha in embarrassment. "What?" She cries out, but no one responds.

"That's good to hear. We have a lot of variety in this group!" The brunette woman smiles, clicking her own closed. "I'm Hanji, your superior officer and the head forensic scientist here at SS HQ. I'll be training you alongside Levi here when it comes to your field work," She nods in the short mans direction. "Also, any reports and files you have go through me, so make sure they're up to scratch! I don't take sloppy reports in my lab." Her voice is vaguely threatening towards the end, and I'm slightly taken aback.

"Hanji said it, but I'm Levi. I'm the captain of this organisation and I'm the second in command. I'll be training and teaching you everything you need to know about this line of work - the things that the government doesn't permit universities to teach. For future warning, the things you see in this line of work are not exciting. They are no cause for happiness, or boredom, or tiredness - is that clear newbies? You'll be asked again how you feel about being here by the end of your tri-semester, and I can guarantee that your mindsets will have changed." He takes the clipboard from Hanji's hands, and paces in front of us. Everyone seems to stand straighter as he comes closer.

"We'll leave you in the hands of Levi for now, and we can all catch up for your interviews and gear distribution later in the day. You're all new here, so don't expect too much for the first coupes of weeks," Hanji says softly, before taking her leave with Erwin and going back through the double doors.

Levi places the clipboard on a desk, and stands in front of us, taking a deep breath. I could be wrong, but his hard expression seems to soften. "I'm not here to scare you, I'm here to tell you the truth," He starts. "We safe lives, here in the SS, so for all you do-gooders in this lot who think you're going to change the world, guess what: you're not. We eradicate scum, we test them, and we look for ways to prevent those things from existing. That's our job in a nutshell, but I'm sure you've been told that much already. We also don't get ourselves killed or bitten, if we can help it. We stick to formation, to our partners, and to the rules - I don't want to have to report another case of misuse of equipment or cadet M.I.A. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes," we say, softly.

For someone who claims he doesn't want to scare us, he's doing a damn good job of it. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from saying anything out of line - I don't want to get on this guys bad side on the first day. Give it some time, though, I'm sure I'll fuck up eventually.

"This is reality, not some digitally remastered film made by some MP with a 'degree' in graphic technology. You're going to meet things that will make you never want to walk the streets again. You're going to experience pain and suffering. You're going to wish you never signed up for this." He clears his throat slightly. "And that is perfectly normal. It's our job to fix up the messes that the Maria Centre created, and it's our duty to perform to the best of our ability. If you find you can't handle it, don't stay here. No one would blame you for leaving, and there will be no hard feelings between us."

"I'm sure that you're unaware of this, but as part of your job, you may be faced with working alongside Neurotics that have been tested on. Hanji and her team have developed a medication that has managed to bring back some brain cells, in Neurotics who have lost theirs. For now, this is not public information, nor is the government aware of it. It's going to stay that way, is that clear?"

We nod, again.

"It's called Neuro-Green, and it serves to repair damaged brain cells in humans that have long since been taken over by the Neurotic parasites. It isn't a cure, but their passive nature is brought to a happy-medium, of sorts. They are your allies, but you have the right to kill if they are out of line. But for now," He picks up the clipboard and takes a step backwards. "Let's introduce you to the rest of the facility."

Levi takes us thorough the basics: uniforms, gear, training, names and ranks, and then takes down our I.D information in a private room. We gather around a large meeting table, and Levi passes us a yellow file and a document to fill out.

"I'll need you to write down your I.D information, then step into the room to your right to have your photograph taken and fingerprints scanned," Levi states clearly.

"Fingerprints? Why?" Sasha questions, a pen lid handing from her mouth.

_Is she serious about being here? How can someone so dumb actually be considering this as their line of work? She's gonna get herself killed._

"Identification. You'll soon find out our reasoning when we take you through to the lecture room." Sighs echo through the room over the scribbling of pens on paper, and Levi scoffs to himself. "Don't give me that, it's important you know what you're up against. The public only know so much about the dangers of having Neurotics blended within society; you all get to see exactly what you're going to face."

Eren kicks his feet up on the table, and fire lights up in Levi's eyes as he does so. "Sir, when do we get to kill Neurotics? I don't care about learning about 'em, I just wanna kill the sons of bitches," Eren shrugs, poking around at his nails.

"Well, Jaeger, we'll get to that soon enough. But with an attitude like yours, you can expect to be partaking in after hours studies going over what you learn during these lectures, and re-writing your notes," Levi hisses, and Eren's eyes bulge from his skull. "Also, get your feet of the desk. This is an office, not the slumps of downtown Trost."

Eren splutters, looking for the right words to say, but settles on a muttered 'Yes, Sir,' as he takes his feet down from the table.

_Heh, suck it, Jaeger._

The door to our right opens, and Hanji's head appears. "Alright, can I have Mikasa Ackerman, please?" She says, as the Japanese woman stands to her feet.

_Mikasa...? What a nice name. It suits her._

"It'll only take a few minutes, but have a seat in here-"

And take a few minutes it does. A few lots of sixty minutes later, as the room starts to get colder and the people irritable, my name is finally called. "Jean Kirschtein?"

"Y-Yes, that's me!" I say, awakened from a light sleep. Eren snorts, and Sasha giggles to herself.

Great... I'm ' _that guy.'_

"Have a seat Jean," Hanji says to me, gesturing to the steel stool in front of her, and taking a seat behind her laptop screen. "As I've said to the others, we'll conduct your interview in here too. I'll chat with yo as we take down your details, and that way I can analyse you without getting you all psyched up. Is this okay?"

"Y-Yeah, that's fine by me." I try to play it causal, like I'm not shitting myself on the inside, but I am. I really fucking am.

_She's going to analyse me? What does that even mean? Am I getting tested? For what? To see if I'm a Neurotic in disguise? As if, I have emotions, that's obvious enough! What if they find something that makes me out to be a Neurotic, even though I'm not? And I get sent to some max facility? Or I get tested on? Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm freaking out!_

"Jean," Hanji says slowly, brining my attention back to her. She's attached a few clips and tubes to my fingers, and the ink on my thumb and index finger suggest she's already taken my prints. "You need to slow your heart rate. Please, relax. We're not going to do anything to hurt you, this is all part of the protocol for identifying what teams and field will suit you best."

I swallow thickly. "What do you mean?"

Hanji settles back onto her own chair, scooting it closer to me. "Think of it this way; we're not going to send someone with chronic anxiety to a place like East Trost, are we? Gangs, robberies, toxic waste experimentation- that'd be bad on all parts. We test you to work out where you'd be more useful working. If you have an analytical mind, you'll be better off in the labs. If you're strong-willed and work well with others, you'll be better out in the field."

"Don't worry though, not many people make it onto elite teams like the ones that handle places like East Trost. Mutations of all sorts happen down there, so we won't be sending you newbies off anytime soon, okay?" She chuckles, smiling brightly.

"Yeah... Right."

She takes my I.D photo, and asks me generic questions about my hobbies, general interests, why I chose to join the SS. Then, she asks, "Do you have any connections with Neurotics? I'm sorry to ask this, as it may be personal, but your file does mention an incident that happened quite a few years ago. It's important that we know the severity of this, first hand."

Once again, I swallow. "Well... I was seven years old. It was back when the Maria Centre burned down, and the cells of dogs were taken over by the bacteria. I got home from school - I was dropped off by a friend of mine - and the front door was wide open." I close my eyes, vivid images of that day consuming my mind in seconds, making my blood run cold.

"A group of three or four mongrels were growling and chewing at the body of my dad. He- I don't want to describe it. I'm sure there's images somewhere but- God, it was awful. Mom was hiding atop the kitchen island, and she screamed for me to run when I cried out to her. She- I didn't. I went to find her, and the dogs chased me into the kitchen. Mom pulled me up with her and fended off the dogs with my school bag, before dropping it too far to pick up."

"...She sacrificed herself for me, throwing herself onto the floor after telling me she loved me..." Tears prick at my eyes, but I wipe them away quickly.

Hanji's face is pale, and a single tear rolls down her face and onto her lab coat, before she sniffles and wipes her eyes. "G-Gosh, look at me! Loosing my composure like that! I'm sorry for this, Jean. We're all done here, you can head out with the others now. It's time to go home!"

She's flustered as she leads me out the door, and gives Levi a code number. He nods and she waves goodbye to us, before Levi stands in front of us at the head of the table. "Alright, listen up newbies. Since its your first day, and the testing went well, we've decided to grant you a little insight as to what you'll be dealing with."

Ymir and Eren stand to their feet. "Neurotics!?"

"Weaponry," Levi says dryly, shutting them down with a simple glance. "As a member of the Survery Scouts, you'll handle a number of weapons that will serve as your greatest allies. Of course, your team members are your allies too, but you have more control over your weapons than you do a group of people."

He signals us to stand with two palms. "That being said, I'll be issuing you all a low class weapon of my choosing. I won't give instructions, I will only give you a weapon that I think best suits you. Test it out whenever you deem it necessary, but bear in mind that misuse of any SS classified weaponry will lead to much more than a suspension and a slap on the head. Is that clear?"

"Yes," We acknowledge.

"Good, follow me, then."

Levi leads us through a hallway of labs, where scientists come and go through the glass doors. Some wave, other blatantly ignore us.

I guess they like to focus on their work, and not a bunch of kids.

We're taken into a separate lab room, one far less fancy and immaculate. Some would probably say it's a storage room full of junk, but not aloud. Especially not in front of Levi.

"Alright, Mikasa Ackerman?" He says, digging through a box of tools.

"Yes," She says, stepping forward from the back of the group.

"This, is yours." He hands her a pocket knife, and she thanks him, stepping back into the corner of the room.

A pocket knife? He expects her to fend of a fucking Neurotic with a pocket knife? What a joke. I keep my commentary to myself, though. I don't want to say anything that could get me in trouble in such a small room full of sharp objects. And Levi.

"Ymir-"

"Here," She says loudly, sticking out her hand. Levi hands her half a wrench, to which she snorts, but snatches it from his hands regardless.

Sasha gets given a pair of nail clippers, Eren a baseball bat, and Marco a single jockey glove.

"Jean Kirschtein," He says, finally. I step forward, holding out my hand, wondering what kind of pointless object he'll give me. It can't be any worse than theirs.

"Here." He hands me a single piece of black charcoal.

Someone snickers behind me, and I turn around to glare at the group, before turning back to Levi. "This, is a piece of charcoal."

"Well done, you're very observant. Alright, let's go."

He takes us back through the labs for a quick detour, and we pass by many glass rooms where scientists of all ages and ethnicities are leant over a microscope or computer screen. None of them notice us, wandering the corridors. It's almost unnerving, how completely enthralled in their work they are.

I angrily shove the piece of charcoal into my pocket. What the hell are we supposed to do with these stupid things? Sasha and Eren don't hide their complaints, thought to be fair, Eren seems the safest out of all of us. Or Mikasa, I guess, if she's quick enough. I mean, charcoal, or a glove? What are we supposed to do, draw our way out of a sticky situation? Or lovingly stroke a Neurotics chin? Get real.

As we come to an elevator, to our left is a double sealed and locked set of iron doors, with two guards standing firm outside of them. We all stand in awe as the elevator doors open, and Levi pushes us inside.

"That's not a place for any of you," He says, as we squeeze into the elevator.

"What's down there?" Ymir asks, looking up from her phone. "Aliens? Or the other half of my wrench?"

Sasha, Eren and I snicker, and Levi rolls his eyes. "No, not aliens. That's the treatment facility for Neurotics. You'll find that one or more of your future partners may very well be down that corridor, being tested on as we speak."

My stomach drops, and Marco tenses behind me. "Gee, really? That's kinda scary to think about..."

"Says the newest Freddy Kruger candidate..." Eren mumbles, snickering lowly to himself.

"Scary doesn't being to cover it, kid," Levi sighs, ignoring Eren's running commentary.

As he turns his head, I notice a large white scar, that travels from the base of his ear and well into the collar of his lab coat. I wonder... Has he had a run in with a Neurotic? Is he scared of them? There's no way a tough guy like he appears to be can be scared of them. I'm just living a fools dream, thinking that.

The elevators rings as the doors open to the ground floor, and we pile out in a sweaty heap. There are barely any people here, now, as opposed to when I first got here. In fact, it looks almost understaffed.

"Uh, where is everyone?" Eren asks, his face contorted in confusion.

"Most people you see in the lobby are from the MPC and Stationary branches, so they've probably clocked out already. We stay a lot later, and some of them do too, but most of them go home around this time of evening." Erwin Smith had appeared behind us, startling us, without us realising.

He chuckles as we let out surprised gasps and step backwards as a group, minus Levi. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It'd be best if you went home now, however. We'll see you all tomorrow at noon. Have a nice evening."

There's a chorus of 'byes' and 'see you laters,' but I can't help but look back as we leave the building, hearing Erwin say something to Levi that makes his face pale.

"Man, that was so boring. We didn't even get to see any Neurotics!" Eren sighs, throwing his hands in the air in disappointment.

"Eren, you know that's not the only requirement of the SS," Mikasa says flatly, tightening her grip on the strap of her handbag.

"Shouldn't they have showed us at least one of them today? I mean, it's not our whole job, but dealing with Neurotics is kinda what we're here for, isn't it?" Sasha comments, opening a can of soda.

Mikasa shrugs. "I guess you're right, but they're the nitty gritty of this branch - they probably don't want to scare us off."

"Pshh, as if Neurotics are that bad. Honestly, I think people make a big deal over nothing. They're just parasites, right?" Ymir chides, lighting a cigarette between her teeth. "It's not like they're contagious."

"You're right, Ymir, but they're parasites that live in the blood stream until they latch onto an organ," Marco starts, timidly. We all stop to turn and stare at him, which makes him straighten up slightly. "The Neurotics that are over-emotional have parasites that have buried themselves within their nervous systems, so they're already as good as gone. It's the Neurotics that lack emotions, where the parasites choose to live in their blood streams, that suffer and are more dangerous."

"How'd you know that?" Ymir smirks. "Levi said the government doesn't give out information like that."

"No, it doesn't. I could see Hanji's notes when I was being interviewed," Marco clarifies.

Now that's a shock. The guy who looks like a real goody two shoes just obtained and shared information? Isn't that what we're not supposed to do?

Sasha shakes her head, swallowing a mouthful of soda. "You're not completely right, Marco. It's the other way around. The parasites that live in the blood stream can be controlled, or at least neutralised. It's the ones in the nervous system that are dangerous, because they have adapted to fit in with human society and aren't as easily recognised."

We stare, wide eyed at the girl who ate and drank throughout the whole day, and didn't appear to take any notice of anything. "Shit, you're good," Eren blinks, nodding his head."How're you planning on using your nail clipper to cut into the nervous system of a neurotic, though?"

"Same way you'll plunge your baseball bat through their thick skulls."

We walk together for a little while longer, talking, bitching about the uselessness of our so-called 'weapons,' and exchanging numbers. I don't say much, but I give out my number anyway, and part ways with the others at the edge of the carpark. Apparently, Eren and Marco carpooled, Sasha and Mikasa took the train, and Ymir parked her motorbike three blocks away.

Getting into my car, I turn up the heating and stare at myself in the rear view mirror. _I don't think I'm cut out for this. They haven't even given us job assignments or any valuable information, and I feel totally drained. Why am I so tired? We barely did anything!_

I start the car and head back to the apartment, getting back within twenty minutes. Oddly enough, there's barely any traffic tonight. It's like the whole city's just gone to sleep - or died, or something. I turn down my street and into the driveway, turning up my nose and squinting when I notice the lights are all off in the apartment building.

_Strange, Reiner's cars in his usual spot. Did he and Bertholdt go out somewhere? Did the building schedule some sort of power saving thing? I thought that only happened in October..._

The automatic doors don't open as I approach, nor when I try to open them. "C'mon, stupid doors! I live here!" I shout, to myself no doubt. They don't budge as I push or pull, so I jog to the side of the building, down the alleyway below my bedroom window. All the lights are off in our apartment, too. In all of the rooms, they're off.

_Where is everyone?_

I take the fire escape, entering through the emergency exit at the end of the alley. There's no noise, save for my footsteps rattling on the iron staircase. All I can think of is The Conjuring, and how I'm probably making the biggest mistake of my life actually coming in here when it looks like everyone's been massacred.

I'm quick; light on my feet as I walk the corridors. It's pitch black, so I use my phones flashlight and hope for the best. There's no noise, besides the occasional creak of the floorboards beneath the crusty red carpet of the corridors. The light reflects off of mirrors and the metal of door handles, but it doesn't alert anyone of my presence.

_I should call out. What if it's just a black out? I can't camp out in the corridors all night. What if it's Neurotics?_ _No. I can't think like that. As if the buildings power would go out because of some lousy, infected human._ _...Come to think of it, the power was out all over town. I didn't see anyone on the streets, and all of the staff had left SS HQ too. Levi said that was normal but- did he even notice that there was no one?_

The atmosphere turns eerie, and I'm suddenly self aware of my heart beating rapidly, the thundering echo in my head, my breathing, the blood coursing through my veins.  _Is this a normal thing that happens when you're scared?_

"Uh, h-hello?" I call out, weakly, holding my breath in wait of a reply. No one answers - my voice doesn't even echo.

 _C'mon, someone's gotta be here! I can't just be the one guy left in the entire fucking city!_ "Hello!?" I cry out. I'm frantic, panicking as my legs struggle to move one way or another. My body's glued to the spot but legs want to run in two different directions. I pace backwards and forwards, fighting with my body as to where I go from here.

_I should get back to my car. Just go straight back to SS and tell them what's going on. I should call the cops, and get them to come down here and fucking do something. I should get the fuck out of here and skip town. Who cares about my job? My life's probably on the fucking line here!_

Floorboards creak behind me and I can feel the carpet moving as someone steps closer. I freeze, unable to turn around. They're breathing heavy, and I think I've stopped breathing altogether.

I sigh shakily, gripping my phone with iron strength and wishing against all odds that I'm dreaming and that I still haven't even woken up for my first day of work. I try to turn around, but tap shut the flashlight app, leaving me ungulates in total darkness with a monster not two meters behind me.

_This can't be happening. This isn't real. There's nothing behind me! Im just imagining things! I'm just going crazy!_

They growl. I choke back a scream. It steps forward and no matter how much I soy he myself up to run I can't and it's getting closer, I can feel hot breath close to me. Its large, over six foot, and it's body must be twice my width. _Fuck, fuck, fuck. It's not human! I'm gonna fucking die! I'm about to fucking get killed by some psychopathic parasite-_

"He-"

"FUCK OFF!! Please, don't kill me!" I shout, collapsing on the floor and turning to face the monster with sweat drenching my collar and sleeves.

"Hey, hey, shhh. It's okay, Jean! It's just me," it says, in a nervous tone. Blood drains from my head, and I feel dizzy, unfocused on whatever's in front of me that claims to know me. I fumble for the flashlight app, and point it in the eye of the monster. It winces, standing tall above me with one hand covering it's eyes and a hand outstretched to me.

"B- _Bertholdt_!?" I shout, leaning backwards in shock.

The tall man chuckles nervously, and I lower the flashlight from his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you- You scared me back there! I didn't know what it was, so I followed you!"

"Fuck man. Fuck you! You scared the ever-living shit out of me!" I shakily stand to my feet, legs threatening to give way, and shove him backwards.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Jesus," I sigh, clutching my chest. "Where is everyone?"

Bertholdt sighs, too. "I don't know. Reiner left my house around 3pm, but he left his work folders, so I drove down here to drop them off. When I got here, no one was here. I'd passed people on the streets, so I went back down to ask them if they knew what was going on but... No one was there. It was like, in under three minutes, everyone just disappeared."

"W-What? C'mon Bertl, don't fuck with me here. Is that really what happened?" I question, skeptical. But he looks frightened.

"I'm serious Jean! Not ever Reiner was here, but your apartment door was wide open. I checked a few after that, and none of them are locked." He gives me a worried look, before checking around us and stepping closer. "Whatever happened, the security systems have all gone down. That's why the doors are unlocked."

"The main entrance doors are locked, though. Whoever, or whatever, it was must've been on the inside to do all of this."

Bertholdt jumps. "D-Do you think it's still in here!?"

 _Fuck_. We cling to each other and back up against the wall, looking both ways down the corridor and shining the flashlight down. Bertholdts large hand engulfs my shoulder, but he looks just about as scared as I feel, do I don't take much notice to the pain he's causing me.

It's almost like he's completely faking it. But- No. He wouldn't do anything like that, I know Bertholdt, he's a sweet guy. He wouldn't try to scare me intentionally. He's not that kind of-

The eeriness is back again, and the only sounds around us are my breathing and the sound of Bertholdt's heavy heartbeat. His nails are digging sharply into my shoulder blade, and I suddenly feel very uneasy. We're pressed tightly against the wall, and I can feel the piece of charcoal sitting heavy in my back pocket.

"Bertholdt," I mutter. "Did you hear a growl when you were coming over to me?"

"What?" He asks. His voice has changed. He suddenly sounds a lot older, darker, then he is. Is _this really Bertholdt?_

"You heard me. Did you hear a growl when you came up behind me? Or," I take a deep breath. "Was that you?"

Shadowed by the light of my phone, his face turns dark, and his expression contorts into a vicious smirk. "What are you talking about, Jean? I'm your friend, Bertholdt! Why would I try to scare you like that?"

I push him away from me, stepping back into the shadows of the corridor. "You're not Bertholdt. Who are you? What are you?"

His smirks grows larger, almost too big for his featureless face. "The worst thing that's ever happened to you."

He throws his neck back, and rows of millions of noodle-like tentacles reach out in a net of nerves and veins, engulfing his figure and manipulating his shape. I make a run for it whilst it's busy changing itself, my footsteps thundering down the corridor as the thing bounds after me on all fours. It's shape is no longer human, but that of a spineless figure of muscles and nerves, twitching and pulsating with every move. I can no longer see Bertholdt, or anything left of him - only a monster.

I turn sharply to the left and sprint down the long stretch of corridor. It makes an ungodly screeching noise, and chases after me at full speed, a singular muscle acting as a tongue to taste the air. It has no eyes, it relies on _scent_. I take the charcoal from my back pocket and try to speed up. But my stamina is running thin, and my breathing is uneven. _I need to find somewhere to hide! And fucking fast!_

_I know the janitors closet us up ahead, the very first door on the right. I've been hit my that door so many times that I can't miss it. If I can get the fast enough, I'll make it in there and have time to think. I can't hear that thing behind me anymore. Maybe I lost it?_

I don't stop to think. I turn quickly to the right and throw open the janitors door, shutting is behind me with enough force to break a bone. I run the charcoal through my fingers and run at it. _C'mon, c'mon, you've gotta do something. Anything_! I can hear the heavy footsteps of that thing coming towards the closet, and the sloppy, wet sounds of its mouth drooling down its veiny chin.

_I'm fucked. I'm so, so fucked._

I press my back hard against the door and slide to the ground, shoving my head in my hands and drawing my knees into my chest. "Stupid piece of _shit_!" I whisper angrily, throwing the piece of charcoal into the far corner of the room. Tears prick at my eyes, and I close them, trying to concentrate on my stomach not popping out of my throat.  _This is it. It's all over. Why did I stay? I should've just left when I saw it was empty! I could be somewhere far away by now, if only I wasn't so determined in being some sort of fucking hero!_

Something presses up against my feet, and I look towards the ground. A black substance is poking around at my shoe, that resembles the corner of the wall. I look up and see that the charcoal I threw isn't there. "H-Huh?"

Slowly, I reach to pick it up. It's a solid substance. _There's no way that it took the form of the corner. Did it?_

I can't hear the footsteps in the corridor, to I stand, relying heavily on the wall to keep me upright. I take the charcoal and press it firmly to the door handle, and it stands to move. It changes shape and forms a solid door handle, replicating the one I pressed it against.

"What the hell?" I whisper.

Something bangs against the door, sending me backwards, and I can see drool seeping through the carpet at the base of the door. "Fuck, it found me!"

Think, think, think! I'm in the utility closet, there has to be something I can use! I look around, seeing nothing, and hurriedly dig through the drawers at the back as the monster pushes heavily against the door, snorting and snarling and clawing at the handle.

_A knife!_

I take the kitchen knife and clutch it firmly, and press the charcoal against it. It takes form of the knife, just as the door slams open and the monster bursts into the small closet.

_I have to do this._

My breathing so laboured and my legs almost give way, but I charge towards the monster and raise the knives at it. It doesn't budge, as its own arm-like features grow spikes and blades that are aimed at me. I aim for the neck, and pierce it on either side, cutting straight through the flesh and leaving the monster howling as it collapses to the ground.

I take the charcoal knife and jump over the creature, making a run for it down the hall, leaving it in a pile of internal flesh. I'm halfway towards the stairs as the lights flicker on, and a large explosion comes from the west side of the building.

"What the fuck?" I say, out of breath, stopping short of the staircase.

"'What the fuck' is right," A stern voice says from the corridor to my left. I turn sharply, a pain in my neck causing me to wince, as Levi stands there dressed in a thick, black uniform with his arms crossed in front of him. Without his sleeves, he has a patterned tattoo from the base of his elbow to his right wrist. "There's always _one_ in a bunch that has to _stir shit up_ on their first day. Isn't that right, Kirschtein?"

"S-Sir?"

"Save it for later," He scoffs. "Come with me. We've got a lot to discuss before the day's end."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a Sci-Fi kinda gal, and I wanted to try my hand at writing it! I hope you enjoy. :)


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